


Blame Tony, or Clint, or Loki

by Twirls Oldfic (TwirlsWrites)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Avengers Movies Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: A Random Plot Appears, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Crossover, F/M, Gen, Hogwarts, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-13
Updated: 2012-11-26
Packaged: 2017-11-14 04:38:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/511396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwirlsWrites/pseuds/Twirls%20Oldfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve Rogers has been discovered and is now returning to Hogwarts! Tony is torn between wanting him to be his best friend and hating him. Rhodey is concerned, Bruce is spent, and the rest of the study group is torn between amusement and disdain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

            Okay, so Steve Rogers was the kid of this major war hero and whatever, and Steve himself had fought Grindewald’s invasion of Hogsmede when he was just beginning sixth year. And the dude was like a legend, be took down all of these bad guys when he was freaking 16.

            And everyone thought he was dead, but apparently somebody _found_ him and it had been a few months, but he was coming back to Hogwarts to finish his education and everyone was really excited. Howard had been freaking _thrilled_. He was pleased as a punch that the heroic Steve Rogers was going to be in the same year as his son.

            “He won’t be a Ravenclaw, of course, but perhaps Tony’s friend Jacob -“

            “- it’s _Rhodey_ , Dad. James Rhodes!”

            “- will make friends with the boy.”

            Ad nauseum, all summer long.

            And yet, Tony supposed that he was doing what Howard wanted after all, he was sitting at the Gryffindor table with Rhodey as the first years were being sorted, all while Steve Rogers sat in yellow and black smiling contentedly between Barton and Wilson and not at the Gryffindor table being wowed by Tony’s brilliance and Rhodey’s personality.

            At the Ravenclaw table Tony’s best-friend-who-wasn’t-Rhodey, Bruce, was glaring at him and mouthing something. Traitor, most likely, but like Tony was supposed to be able to read his lips from this far away? Please.

            Rhodey had tuned Tony out a while ago, which was just fine. Rhodey could sit and talk to his buddy _Thor Odinson_ while Tony sat stewing in his own misery.

            Rogers probably wasn’t that great anyway. He didn’t seem very heroic and magictastical from where Tony was sitting(at the wrong table). He seemed _boring_. And it looked like his robes were ironed, for Marlin’s sake!

            No, Rogers was probably an idiot. Hufflepuff wasn’t known for intelligence after all. Who would want to hang out with some senior citizen anyway. Not Tony Stark, that was for sure. Tony Stark was too busy coming up with the next Wolfsbane in Potions, and developing a new charm in Charms, and learning more runes to maybe help… well, Tony has shit to do, he can’t waste his time with some old man Hufflepuff chump.

            “Tony,” Rhodey’s voice cut into his musings. He sounded concerned, “You have that ‘bad decision’ face on. Stop it.”

            “I don’t know what you’re talking about Rhodey, I am a Ravenclaw. Unlike you Gryffindors, we only make good decisions.”

            “AYE!” Boomed Odinson, “I must agree, James Rhodes; He has quite the dashing face!”

            “Thanks big guy,” Tony said with a smirk. “I think I’ll return to my house table now.”

            “Tony, no. Tony, there’s a sorting. Ton-“ Rhodey’s voice faded to the background as Tony tripped over some first years on his way to the table. Though somehow, Tony was able to hear the echo of his best friends forehead against the table.

            Bruce, also, had head-desked at some point before Tony slid into the seat across from his.

            “Hey buddy, did you miss me?”

            “Like burning,” Bruce drawled, not lifting his head. Tony glanced at the Head table to see if anyone had noticed his excursion, it looked like the only one paying attention was Fury, the Slytherin head of house. He frowned at Tony, when he spotted him looking. Tony smiled back. “How did making Steve Rogers your best friend work out?”

            “Screw you,” Tony said with no real malice. “Like I’d want to be friends with that loser anyway.”

            “I’ll never understand you,” Bruce said with a sigh.

            “Probably not,” Tony agreed.

 

* * *

 

 

            Tony was in a study group. It was actually supposed to be him and Bruce tutoring Romanov, Barton and Odinson in transfiguration second year; but it had evolved into something else. There was always a delay for the first ten minutes while they pondered if Coulson was going to show up or not, and then another one as Thor tried to convince his brother to join them.

            Loki always said no, one time he had even hissed, but Thor asked every time.

            It was the third week of the school year, and the second week that the group met when Tony spotted a tall, athletic blonde trailing behind Barton and Coulson.

            “Stark,” Barton greeted before sitting on Natasha’s lap. She twisted sideways and sent him on the ground without even looking up from her DADA text.

            “Who’s the newb?” Tony asked.

            “You don’t know who this is?” Coulson clarified. Tony raised an eyebrow at him.

            “I’m Steve,” said Rogers. “Steve Rogers. I was just having some trouble with Muggle Studies and Clint and Phil said you guys had a study group.” And no, Tony did _not_ miss the pleased expression that Coulson fought off his face when Steve said his name. He rolled his eyes.

            Besides, legend had it that Steve Rogers was raised in the muggle world with his mother. His father had sent them away for their own protection or some crap.

            Then again, a lot can change in a billion years or so.

            “Stark’s best at Muggle Studies,” Natasha said in a bored voice.

            “I’m best at everything,” Tony pointed out. She rolled her eyes. Tony turned back to Rogers. “Sure, pull up a chair Captain Perfect, we’ll see what we can do.”

            “Wha- I- okay, thank-you,” Rogers turned bright red before turning around to grab a chair. Coulson shot Tony a glare.

            “Really, what did you expect?” he asked with a shrug. Coulson let out a huff. “Why Coulson, this is the least put-together I’ve ever seen you. Someone got a little crush on the Captain of Perfection?”

            “Bugger off, Stark,” Barton said as he stood and brushed himself off. “I’m not sure what your problem is, but don’t take it out on us. Coulson will taze you.”

            “Screw you, I invented that charm!” Tony exclaimed.

            “Tony, quiet down or you’ll get us kicked out.” Bruce was finally there, and Thor was following behind him looking a bit put out.

            “Found a chair!” Rogers said quietly, appearing around the bookshelf again with a chair in his arms. He wasn’t wearing robes, and Tony could see his arms quite well. He distracted himself by pulling out his parchment and quills. Rogers noticed Bruce and Thor after a moment. “Oh. Would you like me to grab you chairs as well?”

            “No thank-you,” Bruce said with a smile. He pointed his wand at the chair and muttered a spell, two duplicates popped out. As was common with Bruce’s spell-work, the two new chairs sort of went flying into the air. Tony, used to this, had already cast the hovering charm. Bruce shot him a thankful grin.

            “Alright, so what can I help you with for Muggle Studies, Cap?”

            “Shouldn’t you take out your notes or book?” Roger sounded confused. Tony just laughed.


	2. Chapter 2

            Of course, after helping the Capsicle out in class, Tony couldn’t let that stand. He couldn’t be considered the helpful friend in Ravenclaw. He had to make up for it over the next few weeks.

            Just little things; He’d switch out the salt with sugar as Rogers was using it, he’d Charm the portraits to wolf-whistle as the Hufflepuff walked by, and he’d send light little tripping hexes Steve’s way.

            That last bit was what triggered his interest. Because they were light tripping hexes, but Steve never tripped at all. He just stumbled a little bit. Then glanced around while turning slightly pink.

            Once, he did trip. But Tony fucking Stark can tell the difference between a real trip, and throwing yourself forward because somebody expects you to trip. And thus raised the question…

            “… why would he pretend to trip? Why isn’t he actually tripping?” Tony finished his explanation to Bruce, raising a telling eyebrow. Bruce sighed and pushed his goggles up on his forehead.

            “Tony, the full moon is in four days, do we really have to do this right now?”

            “I’m telling you Bruce, there’s something off about that guy.”

            “Just because he’s not responding properly to your tugging on his pigtails during recess doesn’t mea-“

            “Bruce. It’s not just the tripping hexes! I started paying attention in DADA, and he’s good at dodging and especially shield spells, but if a spell _does_ seem to hit him, it doesn’t have any effect!”

            “Have you considered that maybe the spells aren’t actually hitting him, and that you’re crazy?”

            “Come on Bruce, I think it has something to do with the war. Maybe even with that trillion year freezing spell he somehow survived!”

            “It wasn’t a trilli-“

            “There’s something off about Captain Perfect.”

            “Tony. Go away,” Bruce snapped. “I don’t have the patience to deal with you right now.” Tony started, even close to the full moon Bruce rarely lost total patience with him.

            “Bruce, I’m - “

            “Just go.” Tony frowned at his friend, but obliged.

 

            “Tony, why are you lurking pathetically outside of my dorm?” Rhodey asked with a sigh, sliding to sit down next to his friend against the wall.

            “Because the portrait doesn’t let me in anymore. I think someone told on me, bet it was Richards.”

            “He’s not in this house, Tone.”

            “Makes it worse.” He sighed, “I pissed Bruce off. Like really-really.”

            “What’d you do?”

            “I was talking about Rogers.”

            “That conspiracy theory you were telling me about last week?”

            “You never help me investigate, I figured Bruce would be intrigued.”

            “Tony… just let it go. So the guy’s a good dueler, big deal.”

            “This is why you’re a Gryffindor, Rhodey. You have no vision.” Rhodey rolled his eyes, but didn’t move as Tony leaned against him.

            “Just apologize to Bruce later,” he said.

            “I know,” Tony muttered.

 

            “Stark!” Tony couldn’t help jumping as Barton appeared in front of him, falling from the ceiling as he normally did.

            “How the Hell do you do that? There are no air vents here!” Barton just smirked, wiggling his eyebrows in lieu of a response. “What do you want?”

            “Coulson said that he noticed you were fallowing Rogers around, and that you should stop.” Tony frowned. “So why are you following Rogers?” Tony realized that he had been looking at things in a myopic way. Barton was perfect for this.

            “Well Barton, it’s a big of a long hypothesis,” he stretched out an arm and pulled Barton closer as they continued down the hallway.

            So Tony effectively got Barton on board to get information from Steve. It was better that way, far more effective to get one of his housemates to help than for Tony to try. Steve had eventually figured out who was pranking him, and that hurt-puppy look wasn’t something Tony wanted to revisit.

            Tony himself, however, assigned himself to research more about the war. Grindewald was a testy subject pretty much anywhere in the Wizarding world, but information wasn’t that hard to find.

            It was the _right_ information that was tricky.

            The books he found talked a bit about Steve Rogers and his father, who was this really big deal. It was all nonsense though, until he stumbled across a picture of the senior Rogers posing with some dude who looked really familiar for some reason. Tony frowned at the picture.

 

* * *

 

            He was distracted by his search, so distracted that he jumped about a foot in the air when Bruce approached him about a week later.

            “Look Tony, I’m sorry for snapping at you,” he said. “But really, just let it go.” The last part was muttered quickly. Tony gave Bruce a small smile.

            “I’m not mad Bruce.” He said with a shrug. Bruce gave him a disbelieving look.

            “You haven’t talked to me in a week, you’ve been sitting next to Thor’s brother in class, and you missed study group five days ago.”

            “I did?” Tony said blankly. “I ha - why would I be sitting next to Thor’s brother? If I was upset with you I’d sit with Jane or Darcy… or Natasha, if she wasn’t upset at me for being upset with you.”

            “You see why I was concerned.”

            “Okay, err, sorry about that Buddy. Sometimes when I concentrate too hard things stop making sense.” Without even looking, he cast his wand to the side and cast a jinx at Rogers to change his robes’ color. The robes were affected properly.

            “STARK!” Rogers exclaimed as his robes turned blue.

            “What?” he asked. “It’s a nice color on you, it’s not like it’s pink or anything. Wouldn’t want to challenge your 18th-century heteronormative sensibilities.”

            “20th century,” Bruce muttered, even as Rogers stared at Tony with his mouth open.

            “What?” Tony asked.

            “The 1930’s and 40’s would be the 20th Century, not the 18th century.”

            “Oh.” Tony turned back to Steve, “Your 20th-Century heteronormative sensibilities, excuse me.” He turned back to Bruce. “What class are we going to?”

            “Potions,” Bruce answered with a small shake of his head. “We’re in the dungeons, Tony.” As they walked off, Tony could hear Rogers and Wilson talking.

            “How does he use so many words without saying anything?”

            “Just let it go, man. No one gets Stark.”

            “Hold on a second,” he muttered to Bruce. He turned back around and fired off another jinx, and stars joined the blue of the robes. He ducked into the classroom, Rogers’ indignant shout filling his ears.

            Bruce had already sat down, but as he walked over Natasha slid down into Tony’s seat.

            “Excuse you,” he said. The Slytherin glanced up at him, looking bored.

            “He’s my partner now, get your own.”

            “But…” she raised an eyebrow. “Bruce,” he whined. Bruce shot him an apologetic look, but Tony could see a tiny little smile at the corner of his mouth, and his ears turning slightly pink. “Fine then, traitor.”

            Tony turned around to survey the room, Jane and Darcy were partnered up, the last time he tried to partner with Pepper she threatened to light him on fire, and he didn’t recognize any of the others. He wasn’t close to too many of his own house-mates, and rarely interacted with the Slytherins outside of Natasha.

            “Hey buddy!” he hopped into the seat next to Thor’s brother… Loki, right? Loki shot him a long-suffering look of disappointment and that’s when Tony remembered that that class normally had one student as being put in a group of three or on their own. With Loki paired up, he managed to avoid that putz Summers.

            “I prefer working alone, you know.” Loki sounds nothing like his brother, all cool tones and carefully-selected words.

            “Don’t worry snakey, I’ll work on getting my spot back sooner than later.” Loki rolled his eyes.

            “Glorious.”

            “Why do you hate your brother?” Tony asks fifteen minutes later as they watch the potion simmer.

            “Excuse me?”

            “I asked why you hate your brother,” Tony repeated, automatically reaching out to stop Loki as he starts to cut the shrivelslugs horizontally as opposed to vertically. “Thor has nothing but affection for you.”

            “I do not hate my brother. I simply get frustrated with his lack of understanding that we are _not_ brothers and he should stop treating me as such.”

            “Come again?” Tony asked.

            “I’m adopted, but that imbecile still calls me his brother.”

            “You _are_ his brother, though.” Tony points out, taking the knife from Loki when he starts to do it wrong again. “You were raised together, probably like grew up playing together and bickering or whatever the hell it is siblings do.”

            “You know nothing Stark,” Loki’s voice is colder than normal, and Tony shrugs.

            “Whatever, like I care. But we _are_ focusing on potions next week, I think, probably, in our study group and you clearly need help since you won’t stop cutting the ingredients wrong.”

            Loki glares at him and doesn’t say another thing all class. 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Group bonding at the lake.

            “So what’s the deal with you and the silver-tongued Odinson?” Clint asked during the study group later that day.

            “Nothing,” Tony said. “Bruce tragically abandoned me for the femme fatale and I had to make other arrangements.” Bruce rolled his eyes.

            “You will use caution when considering my brother for your romantic pursuits,” Thor’s voice was serious and dark. Tony actually edged his seat a smidge farther away.

            “Don’t worry big guy. He’s not my type.”

            “Yeah Thor, everybody knows that Stark has no real distinction for his female companions, but his male companions have to me macho.” Tony nodded, that was his basic criteria. “Can somebody say ‘Daddy Issues’?” Clint finished in a sing-song voice. Tony glared.

            “Can somebody say ‘projecting your own’?” Tony snapped, sending a leg-locker jinx Clint’s way. He dodged it with a smirk.

            “Yes. Projecting your own.”

            “We’re not studying, why am I even here?” Bruce grumbled, turning the page in his Transfiguration text.

            “You fit in too, Banner. We’re like the league of daddy issues,” Clint said. Everyone went back to ignoring him. “Except for Coulson,” he turned to his friend. “Do you have any daddy issues?” Coulson glared.

            “Get back to work Barton.”

            “Yes sir.”

            “I hate all of you,” Tony said.

            “Screw you, Stark. You love us,” Natasha said.

            “Fine. But I love Barton the least.” Clint blew him a kiss and Tony stuck his tongue out at him in retaliation. 

            “Frenching, kinky!” Clint said, cackling. Tony buried his face in his arms.

            “Are you shocked by the casual mention of homosexuality, Good Captain?” Thor asked. It seemed like he was making sure Steve was all right, but his tone was as loud as ever, which somewhat dampened the effect. Thor had taken to calling Steve ‘Captain’ as well, either failing to realize that Tony had started it to mock him, or not caring.

            “Honestly I’m more shocked by Stark saying that I’m not his least favorite.” Steve said with a rueful grin. Thor let his deep bellow of a laugh, and every other head in the library turned to glare at him.

            “Okay,” Natasha said. She stood, sliding all of her things into her bag in one smooth motion. “I am tired of this. It’s lovely outside, let’s go study by the lake.”

            “You mean swim in the lake? Awesome!” Clint hopped to a stand also, and shoved all of his things in his bag - his far less neat than that of his best friend. Tony groaned as everyone stood, not even needing to consult with one another.

            He was still bemoaning the activity when the group reached the lake 15 minutes later.

            “You don’t like swimming, Stark?” Steve asked as he peeled off his robes and tie. Tony shot him a look, but seemed reluctant to answer.

            “Not particularly, no.” he said. His only concession to the heat was to take off his robes and roll up his sleeves and pant-legs. Steve frowned at him, but after stripping down, ran out to join the others in the water.

            “I could cast a glamour charm?” Bruce offered, hesitating at Tony’s side. Tony waved him away.

            “It wouldn’t work anyway, you know that. Besides, who knows what effect the water would have.” Bruce bit his lip, frowning down at his friend. “Merlin, Bruce - go have fun! I’ll be here studying, like a good Ravenclaw. Go!” With one Last look, Bruce stripped down to his undershirt and boxers and jogged into the water where Clint promptly blasted him with water charmed into a ball-shape. Natasha was the only one who bothered to transfigure her clothes into a swimsuit.

            Tony sat and watched them for a bit, before getting distracted. He started jotting things down on his pad of paper(he saved Parchment for his papers, because when he was in work-mode, the stuff was harder to work with). He didn’t look up from his work as the group slowly made their way back to the grass and lay out in the sun to dry out, and he didn’t look up as they started to leave.

            “Shouldn’t we… rouse him?” Steve asked as Bruce gathered his things. Bruce shook his head.

            “Nah, he’s in his work-mode. He won’t stop ‘til he gets it out of his system. No need to bug him for now, if he’s not out of it by dinner I’ll come get him.”

            “Well… alright,” Steve said slowly.

            “Would you like company back to the dungeon?” Bruce asked Natasha quietly as Clint and Coulson walked away, the former trying to convince the latter to give him a piggy-back ride. Thor was right behind them, looking as though he was willing to do so. Natasha tilted her head slightly and then gave a small grin.

            “Sure, thank-you.” As the two returned to the castle, Steve lagged behind and eventually stopped, turning back to where Tony remained - scribbling away. He sighed, and then walked back over. It was a nice day out anyway.

 

Tony blinked as he stared down at the writing pad. Yeah, that would do it. With a groan he stretched out. Looking around for his robe, he found Steve Rogers laying in the grass face up instead.

It looked like he was asleep, long lashes resting on his cheeks, a small smile on his face, cheeks pink from the sun.

Tony frowned.

“Hey Capsicle, I don’t think normal people sleep outside where just anyone could mess with you. What are you doing?” He shook the other boy’s shoulder until Rogers blinked up at him.

“Oh, well I was drying off after we got out of the water and I guess I dozed off. What are you still doing here?”

“I was finishing up something,” Tony glanced down at his watch. “Dinner will probably start up soon, I’ve seen you eat - might want to get in there early.” Rogers ignored the insult with a light roll of his eyes as he sat up.

“What were you finishing?” he asked, glancing over. “Is that a broom?” Tony’s ears went pink, and he dove for the pad, but Rogers scooped it up first. “That’s incredible.”

“Yeah, well, I like designing that sort of thing. A nice combination of almost all of the subjects I enjoy.” He crossed his arms. “Not really that special.”  
            “Are you kidding Stark? This looks like it would actually work. Well, even!” Tony considered Stark with a side-eye for a moment.

“What do you know about brooms?” he asked carefully. This time it was Steve who went pink.

“I… I really enjoyed flying, you know, back in the day.” He gave a small grin. “I haven’t been back in the air since though, I don’t really have the money for a broom.”

“Yeah, and the school brooms are probably older than you are. Tony paused for a minute, eyes darting to Rogers, then the grass in front of him, and then back. “I’ll tell you what Rogers, I can respect a man who likes to fly. I have a spare broom, if you ever feel like taking back to the skies.” He glanced over at Steve as he finished speaking, only to find the other boy taking up the last ounce of his personal space. Tony jumped and leaned back.

“Thank-you,” Steve said with a smile. “Any time that works for you.”

“I’ll… let you know,” Tony said. He stood and gathered his things. “I’m going to eat. Cheers, Rogers.”

 

“Flying, huh?”

“Shut-up Barton.”

“Sounds like the most romantic date I’ve had in years.”

“What, getting drunk and forgetting the names of the women you go on dates with hasn’t been working for you?” Tony snarked. “What did you find out?”

“Stark, you’re not going to do anything bad to Steve, are you? He’s a good guy.”

“Barton, please. I have better things to do with my time than harass the plebeians.” At Clint’s continued hesitation, Tony sighed. “I’m not going to do anything bad to him. Tell me what you’ve learned.”

“Well,” Barton drawled. “Not a whole lot. He wasn’t super close with his dad, he was kind of a nerd, he liked flying a whole lot, and his favorite spell is the shield charm, which he learned from his Dad’s friend.”

“Did you get the name of the friend?” Tony asked.

“He just called him Doctor Erksine.”

“Holy shit,” Tony muttered. Clint blinked.

“What?”

“You don’t recognize the name? Erksine? Abraham Erskine, he was a major pioneer in potions in the 18th century!”

“Yeah Stark, I have a life. And 18th century?” Clint asked. He paused, “How could he have still been alive when -“

“20th Century, geeze!” Tony muttered. “But he died around the time…” he trailed off. “I have to go,” he said, turning abruptly and taking off down the corridor in the direction of the library.

“Stark!” Clint called after him. He sighed, muttering under his breath before continuing on in the other direction.  


	4. This chapter is mostly about flying and quidditch

“Are you sure about this, Stark?” Steve asked. Tony, hoisting a broom over each shoulder rolled his eyes.

“Yes I’m sure. Merlin, Rogers - lighten up!” he said. “It’s flying; it’s fun.”

“Why do you have an extra broom?” Steve asked.

“I’m rich, why not?” Tony said with a mild grin. At the silence he got as a response he sighed. “Sarcasm, Rogers. I like brooms, especially racing brooms. I was never one for Quidditch, but I do love flying. What about you Cap, did you play Quidditch?”

“I never learned, actually,” Steve said. “All four years I went to Hogwarts, the war was brewing and so we didn’t really have time or morale for things like Quidditch. Plus, there were far less kids attending because so many families had to flee. My sixth year, Hogwarts was actually shut-down.”

“Wow,” Tony could only stare as they walked, and under the scrutiny Steve started to turn pink again.

“But, uh, my friend Bucky had an old broom that his father left him. I was real scrawny as a kid, so we could both fit on it no problem.” He smiled at Tony, “I loved flying too.”

“Well, get ready to rediscover your love,” Tony said, setting down the brooms and brandishing his arms dramatically. “Hmm, now, since this is your first time in 17thousand years using a broom, we’ll start from the beginning. Hold your hand over it and say ‘up’.” Steve shot him a look. “No, I’m actually not screwing with you. Go on, you can choose which one you want to use” Steve crept up to the broom on the right, and held out his hand.

“Up,” he said, doubt clear in his voice. The broom twisted a bit, but didn’t rise.

“Put some heart into it!” Tony exclaimed.

“Up!” Steve tried again. The broom shot up and as he caught it, Steve’s face broke into a wide grin. He looked at Tony, who had already summoned his broom, and positively _beamed_.

“Thank-you Tony,” he breathed. Tony ran his hand through his hair and glanced towards the stands.

“Yeah, well, you know you’re not in the air yet. Come on, let’s see if you can handle a modern broomstick.”

Tony took a moment to thank Merlin that Barton wasn’t anywhere near enough to hear this conversation.

He took to the sky before Steve could respond, taking a few laps and loops before flying back over to Steve, who was watching him with a wide-eyed look of amazement.

“Come on Rogers, I know I fly awesome but I think it’s time you gave it a shot.” Steve nodded, and then mounted his broom and kicked off.

He picked up speed quickly, and Tony had a momentary rush of panic that maybe he should have started Steve out with an older broom, but then he realized that Steve was actually in control. He took a sharp turn and let out a loud whoop as he passed Tony, and he couldn’t help but smile.

“You really know what you’re doing,” he said with a nod as Steve slowed down and flew up in front of him. Steve was still smiling, face now flushed from the rush of air, and hair sticking up every which way.

            “That was incredible,” he said, coughing. “That was… wow.” He laughed.

            “With skills like that, you should think about Quidditch,” Tony said.

            “You think?” Steve asked.

            “I heard they’re looking for a new keeper. Your buddy Wilson - don’t tell him I told you this - but he’s an excellent Chaser. He could help you practice if you wanted, and Barton’s the Hufflepuff seeker.”

            “Why don’t you play?” Steve asked. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen flying like that.”

            “Well you wouldn’t have in the 40’s, now would you’ve?” Tony said with a smirk. “That’s part of the problem, I personally find quidditch boring, and I’m not much of a team player.” He lazily circled around Steve, “But you. You could easily actually be Captain Amazing.” Steve rolled his eyes.

            “Come on, race you to the other end of the stadium!” he said before taking off.

            “Woah! Captain Amazing takes a cheap shot!” Tony called, pulling off on his broom and shooting forward, rotating the broom in a swirling motion. As he shot passed Rogers he waved. “Your broom’s built for control. _Mine_ is built for speed.”

            “How’d you know which one I would pick?” Steve asked.

            “Call it instinct,” Tony said with a shrug.

            “Wait,” Steve said slowly. “Did you design these?” Tony blinked.

            “Uhh…”

            “You did! These have the same tail-lace designs as the ones from your sketchpad!”

            “How did you even notice that?” Tony exclaimed, staring at him. “Look, whatever, how about another race? Best two out of three!” he shot off again.

            “Tony!” Steve called after him. He sighed but, with a small grin, followed.

 

Back in Steve’s time, the castle had had a Halloween feast just as they did today. Halloween was an important holiday in the magical community after all. Even across the pond, it was a widely celebrated event.

But when he was a student during the war, there was the war. Decorations were beautiful, but nowhere near as extravagant. The giant pumpkins would never be wasted for frivolous decorations.

So when he walked into the Great Hall on the morning of Halloween, and saw all of the decorations, he stopped so suddenly that Sam walked into his back as he gaped.

“Hold the line there, Cap.” Tony quipped, sliding past him; he was followed by Bruce, who gave Steve a smile.

“This is incredible!” Steve couldn’t help pointing out. Tony opened his mouth, looking like he was about to make another joke, but after a moment he closed his mouth, ran his tongue over his lips and gave a small sigh that sounded like a smile.

“Happy Halloween, Rogers.”

"You too Tony, Bruce.” Bruce nodded at him, but before he turned back Steve could see one of his eyebrows go up and Tony’s pace picked up as he walked to the Ravenclaw table.

“Wait until you see what it’s like at dinner,” Sam said with a smile.

“I’m excited,” Steve admitted. “I remember that our first Halloween in the castle, Bucky ate himself sick.” He smiled. “I think he did our second year too.”

“I’m pretty sure Clint does his best to do that too,” Sam said. Clint popped up behind his shoulder.

“Only second year. First year was on accident.”

“And _that’s_ not troubling at all,” Sam replied with a small grin. Clint shrugged.

“I do what I can. Hurry up, Coulson’s saving us spots.”

“It’s breakfast, is it really that crowded already?”

“They have an amazing apple cider that the elves only serve between Halloween and the end of November,” Sam answered, as Clint rushed on ahead. “Coulson in particular goes nuts over it.” He paused in his words, seeming to consider something. “Actually your buddy Stark does too, apparently he’s allergic to pumpkin or something so he always goes on about how nice it is to have an alternative to pumpkin juice.”

“That’s cool,” Steve said slowly. “If a little random.”

“Right,” Sam said, watching him carefully. “Anyway, I booked the pitch for next Tuesday if you wanted to practice some.”

“Oh, thanks!” Steve said. He smiled, “I’m excited.”

“Yeah, you’d probably start up after break. The only match between now and January is the Ravenclaw/Gryffindor game. So you’ll have plenty of time to train.”

“If I make it,” Steve pointed out. Sam rolled his eyes.

“Right. Because Tony Stark would totally compliment you if you sucked; He’s the kind of guy who lies to make a person feel better.” Steve laughed.

“Okay, you may have a point.”

 ----- 

Quidditch was a really big deal at Hogwarts.

Even people like Bruce and Pepper Potts, who weren’t particularly big fans of the sport, attended every game. It was a crazy phenomenon. Steve was ridiculously excited to watch his first inter-house match.

It was even more exciting that he actually knew some of the people playing. Thor was a beater on the Gryffindor team, and Tony’s friend James was a chaser.

“Do you think we should sit with Bruce and Tony in Ravenclaw?” Steve asked, turning as Natasha walked over.

“No need,” Clint replied. “He always sits in Gryffindor when Gryffindor is playing.” Steve was about to ask why, but realized as Clint finished. “I’m pretty sure he’s constitutionally unable to root against Rhodes.”

“And he’s quite fond of the red-and-gold color combination,” Bruce said, catching the tail end of the conversation as he approached. “He thinks that the bronze and blue is just too plain.”

“He’d never survive in Hufflepuff,” Clint said with a smirk. “He’d refuse to wear the robes or the tie.”

“Yes, getting in trouble for refusing to tie one’s tie,” Coulson said in an absent-minded tone. “Where have I heard that?”

“Hey, I said that he’d refuse to wear it at all,” Clint said. Clint himself hated wearing ties. Steve had noticed that his was never tied all that tightly, and by the end of the day was normally either barely holding itself together or untied entirely and just draped over his shoulders. Tony’s was always loosely tied, Bruce’s was always a bit bedraggled as though even after all these years he wasn’t that great at tying them, and Coulson never had a single piece of the uniform out of place.

Stark never seemed to wear his uniform the same way twice. He rarely wore his robes, and was always somehow managing to leave them random places. His ties, too, though Steve struggled to remember if he ever saw Stark without one. He never wore the short-sleeved uniform shirt, but the sleeves were always rolled up to his elbows anyway so Steve wasn’t sure why he even bothered. He also seemed to be the only student wearing the sweaters and vests with the uniform already.

Maybe Steve spent a little too much time noticing his classmates’ clothing. With a slight shake of his head, he went to catch up with the group.

 

Steve could see why Quidditch was so popular - it was amazing. He had always loved reading about games, and flying on a broom was always incredible. But actually watching it was completely different from reading about it.

Rhodes was really talented, and Steve was almost 100-percent-positive that that was one of Tony’s brooms he was using. Thor and the other beater, Danvers, were really intense. Steve found himself making note of the way they played, looking for weaknesses. If he did make the team, he wanted to make sure he wouldn’t be out and leaving the hoops vulnerable right away.

Though for the most part, the beaters seemed to avoid aiming for the keepers, it was kind of unsportsmanlike-like.

Clint seemed to enjoy the game slightly less. He kept randomly tensing, and then grumbling under his breath whenever the seekers didn’t see the snitch. It was known as, Sam told him later, seeker bias. And apparently it made seekers a pain in the ass to watch matches with. For his part, Steve tried to keep an eye on Rhodes. He was the captain of the Gryffindor team, and the best flyer of the chasers. As a keeper, Rhodes would be his biggest challenge.


	5. It's Christmas Tiiiime in the Castle! (or, Tony Feels and Drinking Games)

“Happy Christmas Eve!” Bruce called as the door to the Hufflepuff common room opened. He, Natasha, and Tony stood each carrying some form of food or Alcohol. Steve was sitting in a cushy chair, and looked confused as they crawled in.

“You think Clint is the only one who can get anywhere in the castle?” Natasha said in answer to his unspoken question. He grinned.

“Good point, I’ll go grab him and Phil.”

“Who’s Phil?” Tony asked Bruce quietly. Bruce just rolled his eyes.

“Are you three really the only ones left in Hufflepuff?” Bruce asked as Steve returned from the stairs with Clint and Coulson following him.

“That’s why we always come here to celebrate,” Natasha said. “There’s still a handful of Slytherins left, and Thor who has camped out in the common room while he waits for Loki to talk to him; there’s a ton of Ravenclaws left, and Thor’s the only Gryffindor here for the break so anyone being in there would be suspicious.”

“Why are you still here,” Steve asked Tony.

“Ah, ah!” Clint tutted. “You’re ruining the main event for the evening already!” he dove under one of the couches and pulled out a large bottle of some alcohol that Tony was fairly sure had Russian printed on it. “Truth or dare!”

“Are you serious, Barton? Some first-year could have found that!” Coulson exclaimed, massaging his forehead. Clint just grinned.

“Since when has truth or dare involved alcohol?” Steve asked, even as he helped gather enough cushy armchairs (there were quite a few in the common room) around one of the tables.

“Since some people are too pansy to do the dares or answer the questions,” Clint said with a smirk, elbowing Bruce as he passed. Bruce glowered at him.

“If you don’t want to do the dare,” Natasha filled in, “You have to do a shot. Same if you don’t want to answer a question.”

“And this year it’s strip drunk truth or dare!” Clint said, sounding inordinately excited. “So you have to take a shot _and_ strip!”

“Thus, layers.” Bruce said mildly.

“The future is strange,” Steve said with a small chuckle.

 

Shortly, they were all gathered around the table.

“Tony, truth or dare?” Bruce started.

“Dare,” Tony answered.

“I dare you to do truths only for the rest of the game,” Bruce said with a grin. Tony stared, mouth actually dropping for a second before he spun to Natasha.

“Can he do that?”

“Yep,” she said. “Why? You going to give up on the first dare?” she gave a wicked smirk and Tony glared.

“Of course not. I’m not scared of you guys.”

Within ten minutes everyone at the circle had either been dared to only do truths, or ended up only answering truths to delay the inevitable anyway.

“I feel like we’re playing it wrong,” Steve said.

“Shot!” Everyone called out.

“What, why?”

“You don’t question the game,” Coulson answered. “Other penalty-shots are issued for asking stupid questions, pissing Natasha off, and calling Barton or I by our first names.”

“Wh… okay,” Steve said. He took the requisite shot and wrinkled his nose.

“It goes smoother after a few,” Bruce assured him.

 “Banner, what’s your biggest regret?” Coulson said. 

“Agreeing to play this game every year,” Bruce answered, even as he did the surrender shot and took off one of his socks.

“Barton, who would you kiss if you had to kiss someone in this room?”

“Coulson,”

“Stark, what’s your middle name?”

“Not telling,” Tony answered, taking the shot and losing his left shoe.

“WUSS!” Clint yelled. Tony flipped him off. “Come on, tell us!”

“I already did the shot, bugger off!” he turned to Coulson. “Coulson, did the hat deliberate on where to sort you?”

“Yes,” Coulson answered with a small smirk. “Natasha, is that your natural color?”

“Yes,” Natasha answered. “Coulson, where else was the hat considering placing you?” Coulson rolled his eyes.

“All of the houses, actually.” He turned to Tony. “Did the hat consider any other houses for you, Stark?”

“Nope!” Tony answered, “Coulson why did it eventually decide Hufflepuff?”

“The hat listens when you talk to it, you know.” Coulson said.

“Lame Answer!” Natasha shouted, making Steve jump. “Shot!” Coulson rolled his eyes, but did the shot.

“Steve, what do you miss most about the past?”

“My friend Bucky,” Steve said with a sad little smile. “I think he’d like you guys. Stark, why didn’t you go home for break?” Tony took one of the shots.

“I’m going to answer, I just needed that,” he said. “Holidays at my house aren’t fun, and my Mom wasn’t even going to be there.” He turned to Coulson, “Coulson, why are you here?”

“Because Barton made me come.” Coulson answered. He was the master at this game, his answers were always technically answers for the questions, but he managed to avoid any invasive ones. “Bruce, what’s your favorite color?”

“Purple. Tony, why didn’t you go to Rhodes’ house for break? He’s been trying for years now.” Tony glared.

“Oh please, like I can leave you guys alone for three weeks.”

“SHOT!” Clint yelled. Tony took the shot and took off his other shoe.

“Barton, how many times have you been rejected?”

“You think I’m sober enough to count that high?” Clint asked with a laugh. He took the shot and took off his sock. “Steve, how tall are you?”

“I’m actually not sure,” Steve answered. “I haven’t measured myself since my last growth spurt,” he grinned, “you could say it’s been awhile. Stark, why don’t you ever take notes in class?” Tony snorted.

“Don’t have to.”

“Stark’s a friggen’ genius,” Clint said with a shrug. “We haven’t been able to figure out why he doesn’t just take his NEWTS and blow out of this place.” Natasha rolled her eyes.

“Stupid question Clint, Shot!”

 

As the night progressed, the game got a little less complicated.

(“Bruce, how many fingers am I holding up?”

“Go screw yourself Barton.”

“Wrong answer! SHOT!”

“You do a shot, that was a stupid question!”

“LOSE THE PANTS, BANNER!”)

 

Bruce was the first to drop out, as he normally was. In the end Tony and Steve were the only ones remaining. This was surprising, as normally Natasha had an alcohol resistance that rivaled Tony’s.

The two remained sitting at the table, while the rest of the group lay asleep on the ground. Bruce was sprawled out, with Natasha sleeping with her head on his chest, and Clint draped over her legs as he held onto Coulson’s leg with both arms.

“Why are you so good at this?” Tony asked.

“Because I don’t get drunk,” Steve answered.

“You don’t get drunk?”

“Now that sounds like a repeat question _and_ a question out of turn. Two shots and, unless you want to be wearing a sweater and nothing else, I think it’s time you lost your sweater and your last sock.” Tony glared, but threw back two shots in a quick row.

“Fine,” he muttered. He shoved the sock off his foot using his other food, and took off his sweater. Like Steve, he was now only in an undershirt his boxers.

There was a pause.

“Why is your chest glowing?” Steve asked. Tony sighed.

“Because I’m wearing this special charm I invented to… look, it’s kind of a long story and I think I’m actually drunk enough to tell you, so can we just let it go?”

“What?” Steve asked. Tony sighed, and ran his hand through his hair.

“Okay, so… my Dad makes weapons, right? That’s what Stark Industries does. We develop these wands that aren’t really wands. They’re like… death machines. Most of them are single use, but a lot of them could kill a lot of people.” He glanced at the ceiling, leaning back in his chair. “I used to help develop a lot of them. I’m a genius, not an exaggeration, and I was probably the only 9-year-old you’d ever meet who knew how to lace the magic of a ‘bombarda’ spell into a sing-use stick of wood.”

Steve didn’t say anything, watching Tony with wide eyes.

“Uh, third year… yeah, it was third year. Third year, I had to go home for Easter break. I always do, actually, it’s important to my mother, but. Uh, on the drive home, my driver Jarvis and I were ambushed and I was kidnapped. They got us with Stark wands, of course.”

“Tony…” Steve said quietly. Tony didn’t seem to hear him, his eyes were dim.

“The next thing I remember is waking up with this… this giant amulet around my neck. The curse in that particular wand… well, it was actually one of my own creations. My heart should be in shreds right now but they attacked us for a reason - for me. This healer guy, Yinsen, he was a beast with arithmancy and runes and he charmed up that amulet to hold off the damage from my heart. It was designed to last the month they were hoping it would take me to make them… well, something big.”

He paused for a moment, drumming his fingers on the table.

“I developed something better, something that will last my lifetime if it all goes right. Well, I guess if it all goes wrong - Bruce and I have been trying to come up with a reversal spell… well, anyway. Suffice to say that locking two geniuses away with a promise to create violent spell-work is a stupid ass idea. I made a few simple bombarda wands and blew us the hell out of there. In the escape, Yinsen… he went… he didn’t make it either.”

“Tony,” Steve repeated.

“So this,” Tony peeled off the undershirt, exposing the piece of magic. The runes and figures Steve didn’t recognized were woven together with lines of magic that glowed blue into a disc about the size of a fist - ‘ _or a heart_ ,’ his brain pointed out - “This is a reminder. And, uh. I guess to answer your question, My chest is glowing because I’m an idiot, and I need it to keep me alive.”

“That’s why you didn’t swim,” Steve said slowly.

“Bruce has seen it, and Rhodey was there when they found me. I’m sure Natasha knows somehow, but that’s it. I don’t… it’s not really something that you would want other people to know, you know?”

“Yeah,” Steve said softly. “I know.” 

“Well,” Tony drawled. “That’s been my threshold for sharing and caring for one evening, even drunk, so…” He stood from the table, putting his sweater back on as he wobbled over to one of the couches, and crashed down on it. “Night, Steve.”

“Night Tony,” Steve replied. “Happy Christmas,” but it already looked like Tony was out cold.

 


	6. Loki is a little shit and you finally get to learn why the story is called what it is!

The rest of break passed quickly. Despite the fact that most of the group crashed in the Hufflepuff common room every night, Steve found that he was never alone with Tony for longer than a second. This more than anything proved to him that Tony did, in fact, remember the conversation.

The more Steve thought about it, the more he realized that that would have been the perfect time to come clean himself.

He _knew_ that Tony had noticed something and, as Tony had said, he was a genius. He’d figure it out sooner or later and… well, that would have been the time.

Steve wasn’t sure on the how, but Tony had been drunk so maybe how eloquent it came out wouldn’t really matter. He had told Sam, and the other boy had just nodded and said okay.

But somehow Steve doubted it would be that easy with Tony.

It was never simple with Tony.

 

Overall, Tony probably would have been able to avoid talking to Steve for quite a long while except for one thing: Loki.

Nobody could really figure out if the two were friends or enemies. Tony had stopped joining him for class, instead electing to make a group of three with Bruce and Natasha, but they did seem to more or less get along.

But the thing about Loki was that he enjoyed screwing with people, and in a different way than Tony enjoyed screwing with people. Furthermore, he was hard to figure out. So his latest trick could have been a gesture of good fun between friends, or it could have been a punishment to Tony for grouping up with Bruce and Natasha instead of him.

All Tony knew was that one Friday after the study group, him and Steve tried to go in opposite directions down the hallway, each got to the end of the hallway, and then got flung back at each other.

“Son of a bitch, Rogers!” Tony exclaimed, scrambling to stand and shrugging off Steve’s attempts to help. “Are you _made_ of brick?”

“What the hell just happened?” Clint asked, eyeing the two of them from where Steve had been following moments ago. Thor and Natasha left the library and watched curiously. (for Natasha that was a slight raise of one eyebrow, for Thor it was tilting his head all the way to the side at an impossible angle and furrowing his eyebrows.)

“I don’t know,” Steve said. He and Tony shared a quick look.

“Whatever,” Tony said with a shrug, he started off confidently down the hall again, and turned the corner. After a few more seconds of nothing happening, Steve shrugged and started to turn around again when they heard a loud thunk and some colorful swears in Tony’s voice.

“Shit,” Bruce muttered, he hurried around the corner and after a pause everyone else did as well. Tony was leaning against the wall, legs splayed out in front of him. He glanced up as they turned the corner and ran up to him.

“Okay, there’s something weird going on.” He said. Clearing his throat, he used the wall to help himself up. He looked at Steve. “What did you do?”

“Me?” Steve asked.

“Stark, I think we all know by now that you’re generally to blame when something odd is going on.”

“And Clint’s to blame if something stupid is going on,” came Tony’s rebuttal. “What’d you do, Barton?”

“Hey, don’t pin this one on me!” Clint exclaimed. “That was entertaining, don’t get me wrong, but I had nothing to do with it.”

“Then who - unhand me, woman!” Tony started, trying to duck away from Natasha’s hand poking at his forehead. “I don’t have a concussion. “

“Yes, the possibly concussed party is the one to determine that.” Bruce deadpanned.

“I believe I know who is responsible,” Thor suddenly intoned, voice serious. “My brother Loki, this trick resembles one he enjoys playing back home.”

“Do you know the counter-spell?” Tony asked, finally holding still long enough for Bruce to conjure a cloth for the small scratch bleeding on his head.

“Nay,” said Thor. “I believe only Loki would.”

“I’ll go and grab him then,” Natasha said with a nod.

“What, do we just wait here then? The library closes in twenty minutes!” Tony squawked. Natasha rolled her eyes.

“I’m the only Slytherin here, Stark. They don’t like outsiders in there, Clint is the only one I’ve seen who hasn‘t been thrown out immediately. I’ll be fast.” Her quick pace had her around the corner in seconds.

“Should we wait in the library then, or - “ And Bruce’s words were cut off as he went flying through the air. He hit the floor a few feet away, and Natasha landed on top of him. “That silver-tongued bastard,” Bruce groaned.

“Ooohhhh,” Clint said.

“Barton, don-“ Coulson reached out to grab him, but wasn’t fast enough as Clint shot out like and arrow in a run down the hallway. Within a few seconds, he went flying back as if pulled on elastic, and would have hit Coulson had the other boy not ducked.

“Okay, that’s so cool.”

“It is not cool!” Tony exclaimed. “What do we do now?”

“We find Loki,” Natasha said. “We’ll just have to wait until tomorrow when he leaves the dungeons.

“And sleep where?” Bruce pointed out. “The distance doesn’t seem to be long enough to stretch from Ravenclaw to Slytherin _or_ Hufflepuff dorms.”

“Oh man,” Tony groaned. “We’re going to have to talk to a professor, aren’t we? This is so humiliating.”

“Well, good luck with that guys. Coulson and I are just going to go and head back now,” Clint said with a smirk. Coulson reached out and grabbed his friend’s collar before he could run off again.

“No, we’re going to go with them to explain the situation,” Coulson said slowly. “Show some Hufflepuff loyalty, would you?” Clint rolled his eyes, but nodded.

 

The first professor the small group found was Fury, of course. He appeared as they stood outside the headmaster’s office while Natasha had a staring contest with the Gargoyle.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” He asked, striding over. “Do you know what time it is?”

“Party time,” Tony said, almost reflexively.

“Hammer time!” Clint offered in the next second. Fury took a deep breath, and turned to Coulson.

“Why are you out and about at this hour, Mister Coulson?” 

“Stark, Rogers, Banner, Romanov, Barton, and myself have been jinxed sir.”

“What’s Odinson doing then?”

“I am positive that my brother is the culprit behind these shenanigans,” Thor said. Fury considered them for a moment.

“Well, what’s wrong?”

“I’ll show you!” it was Clint of course, and he started running again.

“Damnit Barton!” Coulson yelled. This time both of them got pulled, and ended up in a heap. Fury blinked.

“I’m not sure what I’m looking at,” he said.

“There’s some sort of… limit on how far we’re able to separate,” Natasha said. She gestured to Bruce. “As we’re sure it is Loki who is responsible, we’re not able to get to him without someone being somewhere they shouldn’t be.”

“Well, I am the Head of House. Go wait in my office, I’ll fetch Odinson 2.”

 

Fury returned to his office fifteen minutes later, frog-marching Loki - only wearing a thin t-shirt and emerald green pajama pants - in front of him. “There you are Odinson, undo it.”

“I’m afraid I am unsure what you are talking about sir,” Loki said smoothly, he crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “They always look like this.”

“The jinx you plonker.” Tony said with a glare.

“They’re not able to get farther than half a kilometer from one another,” Fury said. 

“And this is my fault? I’m sure we all knew their unhealthy affection for one another would manifest someday.”

“Loki,” Thor said, taking a small step closer to his brother. “This is the same prank you used to pull back home when we were younger.”

“Yes, and I also used to turn you into a frog. I haven’t done that in years, what makes you think I did this.”

“Because you did?” Bruce offered. Loki ignored him.

“I’m sorry sir,” he said, turning to Fury. “But I am unsure why I am here. Is my magical signature on the curse?” There was a slight delay as Fury tested it.

“No, no it’s not,” Fury said. If he showed emotion, Tony would say that he looked somewhat concerned. “There’s actually no trace of a magical signature on it at all.”

“I would have appreciated you checking that before you took me from my room,” Loki drawled. He gave a little sigh. “Can I go back now?” Fury sighed.

“Fine,” he grabbed a quill from his desk and wrote out a note. “Give this to anyone you run into, stay out of trouble.”

“Always, sir,” Loki drawled.

There was a beat of silence after the door closed behind him.

“Are you kidding?” Tony exclaimed.

“You know it’s him sir,” Steve said.

“We all know it’s him,” Fury snapped. “But I can’t prove it. So, unless he decides to be helpful, it’s off to bed for you lot. I don’t recognize the spell, we’ll have to talk to the charms master tomorrow.”

“Bed where?” Natasha said. “Only Clint and Coulson are in the same house, and I can hardly stay in the Men’s Ravenclaw dorms.” Fury let out a breath as he considered.

“Fine. You three,” he nodded at Clint, Coulson, and Thor. “Go back to your rooms, Coulson make sure you report bright and early so we can get this sorted out.

“Yes sir,” Coulson said.

“You’re not going to tell me to report bright and early?” Clint asked with a smirk.

“Something tells me I shouldn’t bother,” Fury said. “You don’t have much of a choice in the matter anyhow.” The three left, and walked over to the fireplace.

“Well this is going to be fun,” Tony said. He crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. Fury only had one chair in his office besides his own, and Tony didn’t trust it.

“Sorry about all this,” Bruce said to Natasha. She shrugged.

“Not your fault, and not the worst thing in the world; I could have been ‘chained’ to Clint after all.” That was the first and only time Tony ever saw Natasha do air quotes.

“Coulson doesn’t seem to mind,” Tony said.

“I’m pretty sure those two have been stuck together ever since they met at the train station.” Natasha said. “Not much of a difference.”

“Well that’s true enough,” Tony said with a laugh. “A meeting like that, anyone would be stuck together.”

“What happened?” Steve asked, intrigued.

“Ooh, story time!” Tony exclaimed. “I’ll start. So, Coulson had to be on his own for his train ride because his mother couldn’t get out of work, right? So he’s walking to the platform, and this little punk comes barreling into him,”

“It’s Clint, of course,” Natasha said with a roll of her eyes and a little smile. “It’s always Clint. He says something generally insulting, and trips trying to run off.”

“Then these other guys come up, big guys,” Bruce takes up the tale. “Not Hogwarts students, some people Clint new from… ah, before Hogwarts. They start pushing him around, saying crap. Ignoring Coulson, of course.”

“So Coulson tells them to stop and they focus on him,” Natasha added in.

“Hufflepuffs,” Tony mutters. Bruce elbows him. “Right, and Coulson being Coulson, he tells them to bugger off because nothing intimidates the little bastard and so one of the guys takes a swing and the presumptuous little 11-year-old,”

“And Clint freaks out and tackles him - the punk, not Coulson - and he gets hit for his trouble which makes _Coulson_ freak out and there was this huge brawl.” Bruce said with a small chuckle.

“Best. Thing. Ever,” Tony says with relish.

“Eventually they get away, with all their stuff, and dart through the wall to the platform in plain sight of the idiots, who are convinced they made up the whole thing,” Natasha finishes.

“And woolah - best friends for life,” Tony says with a dramatic wave of his arms. “Aside from Natasha of course.” She gives a little smirk and a nod of acknowledgment.

“Wow,” Steve said, eyes wide. “They never told me that story.”

“They don’t like telling it,” Bruce replied. “Not sure why, apparently it embarrasses them.”

“Clint doesn’t like the fact they didn’t officially win,” Natasha said with another nod. Bruce grinned.

“Of course he doesn’t.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHAHAHAHA, and now you know. They're a bit out of order in the blaming, but that's where the title came from. I am nothing if not superduper creative. Also, I could have ended the chapter with Fury sending away Clint and Coulson but I decided to add their "brorigin story" in at the end. EVERYTHING IS TOO CUTE GUYS.  
> Also, I know, I know. But I really like tropes, so I regret nothing. Thanks for reading, I'm sure you'll all be on the edge of your seat wondering how this all ends! (don't worry, there's at least two chapters left. Probably three.)


	7. Late Night Discussions i.e. the one where Charles shows up for a second

“Gentlemen, lady, this is Charles Xavier.” Fury said, walking back over.

“Duh, he’s head boy,” Tony said with a snort. Everyone ignored him.

“There should be enough room in the head boy’s quarter’s lounge to keep you three for the night, and the head girl’s quarter’s are right next door.”

“If it’s all the same to you, sir, I’d rather not test it,” Natasha said. “I don’t mind sharing a space with a bunch of boys.” Fury eyed them, considering. “Do you not trust me, professor?” Natasha asked innocently. Fury gave a little growl.

“Fine. No funny business. If I find out this was all an elaborate plot to get Banner laid I’m going to expel someone.” Bruce let out an indignant squawk, but Natasha just rolled her eyes and ignored Tony’s laughter.

“I’m sure we’ll be just fine sir,” Steve said after an awkward pause, Tony’s laugh still filling up the dead air.

“Right,” said Charles, stepping forward. “No need to floo you all back, I’ll walk you to where you’ll be staying and Professor Fury will send some house elves along with some things for you.”

He led the way, the four following in step behind him. Steve nudged Tony.

“Stop checking out Xavier’s…” he started to whisper, and then his words cut off, too flustered to think of a different word.

“Ass?” Tony asked, in a perfectly normal tone of voice. Steve flushed. “I check out everyone’s ass.” Tony continued, in a thankfully quieter tone. “No need to be scandalized, Grandpa.”

 

“The bathroom is up through there,” Charles said, gesturing to a door on the right. “You can change in there, Natasha.”

“Thank-you,” she said. She grabbed one of the little piles of clothing on the coffee table, dropped her things on a chair, and walked into the bathroom. Charles turned to the other three.

“No funny business, you three. I mean it.”

“Why are you lecturing us?” Tony said defensively, “She’s far more likely to make some sort of move than any of us are!” Charles considered that for a moment before nodding.

“Very well. Just call if you need anything,” he said as he walked up the stairs.

Bruce went and threw himself on the couch face down with a long sigh. “This is a very stressful day.”

“Calm down buddy,” Tony said as he grabbed one of the clothes piles and started taking off his clothes. “Natasha’s right - it could be worse. You could be linked up with Clint.” Tony glanced over to where Steve still stood, looking as awkward as he felt. “Me too, I suppose.” Tony added.

Steve felt like one day he’d have a plaque made. Steve Rogers: Better to be chained to than Clint Barton. That’d be interesting.

“Huh,” Tony’s voice was quiet.

“What?” Bruce asked, voice still muffled by the couch cushion.

“The clothes the house elves brought,” Tony said. “They’re nightgowns.” He held one up. Bruce didn’t look up.

“Maybe Natasha grabbed the wrong one?” Tony tossed the one he was holding at Bruce, it went fluttering to the ground about a foot away from the couch. Tony grabbed another one.

“Nope,” he reported. Bruce started laughing into the couch. “What’s so funny?”

“Just this day,” he said. “I can’t even bring myself to get worked up about it.”

“Well that’s good,” Tony replied. “You’re an absolute bitch to deal with when you get angry.” At Steve’s snort, Tony turned to look at him with an eyebrow raised. “What?”

“Nothing. Do they still use the term ‘hypocrite’ this day and age?”

“Sassy old man,” Tony replied. After a moment, he tossed the nightgown he was holding back onto the coffee table. “I’m not wearing that. I’ll just sleep in what I’m wearing.“

“If you’re worried about your magical heart, I’ve known about it for awhile.” Natasha said as she came back into the room. “So take off your shirt at least.”

“Trying to get me to strip? I knew you’d be the trouble-maker.” Tony said with a smirk. As Natasha rolled his eyes, he shrugged. “How did you know anyway?”

“Rhodes told me,” she replied. Tony paused from where he was unbuttoning his shirt.

“How did you…? Did you get Rhodey drunk?” he demanded. “He doesn’t hold his alcohol well, Natasha. You can’t get Rhodey drunk!”

“Calm down, mother hen. You know how the Gryffindors are about parties, I just happened to be there.”

“You always happen to be there,” Tony muttered. Natasha shrugged.

“Anyway, he’s fine.” Tony frowned, but let it go and finished taking off his shirt. He started in on his belt.

“Think we should conjure up some blankets, or…?” Steve glanced around. As he spoke, the entrance to the chambers opened, and a tall figure walked in, and then stared at them.

They stared back.

“Uh. Hello,” Steve said after a brief pause. He vaguely recognized the boy as a seventh year Slytherin.

“Lensherr?” Tony asked, he took a few steps closer. “I knew it!”

“Stark,” Lensherr’s voice was a growl. Tony looked downright giddy.

“You even know the password to his chambers. Wow.”

“Charles!” Lensherr yelled. Within seconds, Charles came darting down the short staircase that - Steve assumed - led to the sleeping area.

“Oh, Erik, I forgot,” his words cut off, and he bit his bottom lip as he turned to glance at the rest of them. “Er, this is my friend Erik. Erik, these are…”

“Oh, just let it go,” Bruce groaned, sitting up. “Really, we’re not going to say anything.”

“Very well, there should be some sleeping bags in the cupboard. Come along, Erik,” Charles grabbed his hand and led his friend back upstairs.”

“I knew it!” Tony repeated. “This is _golden_.”

“Oh please Stark, everybody knows,” Natasha said with a roll of her eyes.

“I don’t see why it’s a secret,” Bruce offered, sitting up. He was taking off his robes as well.

“His step-father, something Shaw? He’s a lunatic.” Natasha said, distaste clear in her voice. “He only just came of age after all.” She glanced over at Tony.

“What? I’m not going to say anything. What kind of sociopath do you think I am?” Natasha sighed and averted her eyes, which was good enough as an apology in her body language. “Nice nightgown by the way.”

“Thank-you,” she replied, flattening the front of it down. “Unlike you boys I can’t sleep in just my underwear.”

“Ah, but what an ima- Merlin I didn’t even finish the sentence!” within seconds Natasha had flipped over to be in front of him with her wand drawn. “I take it back.”

“Good boy,” Natasha said with a sharp nod.

“Geeze Tasha, you know I don’t mean anything by it.”

“Does that mean you should get away with saying it?”

“… no?” Tony tried. Natasha nodded.

“Correct.”

“If Stark went too long without flirting with someone, that’d probably be a bad sign,” Steve offered, taking off his shirt as he walked over to where the rest of them were gathered.

“Please,” Tony scoffed. “I don’t flirt all of the time.”

“You were checking out Lensherr’s… ass too!” Steve said after only a brief hesitation.

“I check out everyone’s ass!” Tony exclaimed. “It’s not flirting, it’s just looking! Why, are you jealous? If it makes you feel better, your ass is quite spectacular.” Steve turned bright red, and looked to Natasha for back-up.

“It’s true,” she said. “You have a nice butt. Clint does too.”

“Clint’s butt is mind-boggling,” Tony agreed. “I wonder if it’s why he’s such an asshole.”

“Can we please stop talking about Clint’s butt?” Bruce said with a little sigh.

“Can we talk about your butt instead?” Tony asked.

“No.”

“We’ll give it a shot; can’t promise anything.”

“You can’t just take away our ability to talk about butts,” Natasha said.

“You know, for a long time I wondered how you were best friends with Clint. I wonder less now,” said Bruce. Natasha grinned.

“Alright, sleepover!” Tony said, clapping his hands. “Spin the bottle, truth or dare, ouiji boards, Rogers - get in your underwear let’s have a pillow fight.”

Blank stares were his only reply. Tony’s mouth quirked into a frown and he sighed.

“Right. Purebloods.”

“Tony, our entire school lives are basically one giant sleepover,” Bruce said. “And we played truth or dare like a month ago, I don’t think my liver’s fully recovered yet.”

“Ouiji board?” Natasha sounded reluctant to ask.

“You... you use it to talk to spirits,” Tony said.

“Ghosts live in the castle,” she replied, carefully enunciating each word. Tony whipped around to look at Steve.

“Come on Rogers, you’re not a pureblood, right? Back me up!”

“I thought you were a pureblood, Stark,” Steve sounded confused. Tony seemed to freeze up for a moment, before shrugging.

“Yeah, but I was… growing up my butler was muggle born. He liked taking me out to see muggle London a lot,” there was a tense pause. “And Rhodey’s been my best friend like forever and he’s a halfblood. Anyway, you guys have no clue what you’re missing out on. Muggles listen to music on more than just the wireless, and you can watch programs on a television, and -“

“Yes, yes, you and your rant about electricity. We’re familiar,” Natasha drawled, rolling her eyes.

“Fine, when I figure out how to circumvent the magical interference, you’re not invited to listen to my music,” Tony scoffed, crossing his arms.

“I’ve heard you and Rhodes singing, I don’t want to listen to your music,” Bruce offered.

“I’d play some smooth jazz for you buddy, don’t worry.” Tony said. Down to his boxers and undershirt, he threw himself backwards onto the couch, Bruce moving his legs out of the way last second.

“Wonderful, like our own personal nightlight.,” Natasha said as she went to the cupboard to grab the sleeping bags Charles had mentioned. Tony frowned and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m being serious,” she added as she glanced over.

“It’s a very soothing color,” Steve offered. Tony glanced up at the ceiling.

“Well, whatever,” he said. Bruce smirked.

 

It didn’t take very long for them to turn in for the night. Like on Christmas, Natasha, Bruce, and Steve piled up some of the pillows and sleeping bags into a pile on the floor and slept close together, while Tony slept alone on the couch.

It couldn’t have been longer than a few hours before Steve woke up, startled out of a dream by the slight chill in the room. That’s when he realized that Bruce had left at some point, and Tony wasn’t on the couch.

Careful not to disturb Natasha, who was curled up around his left arm, he glanced around. He couldn’t see the two, but he could hear them. They were whispering a few feet away.

“Sorry Bruce, I can’t make heads or tails of this.”

“You’re supposed to be a charms genius,” Bruce whispered harshly. Both sounded stressed. Tony let out a short breath.

“I am, but this is like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Look at it, this is some different type of magic. Loki’s going to have to undo it himself.”

“And how are we going to get him to do that?” Bruce said. Tony sighed.

“I don’t know, okay.”

“Tony, the full moon is in four days.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Tony snapped. Steve could practically see him run a hand through his hair. “You’re still taking Wolfsbane, right?”

“No,” Bruce whispered. “I decided now would be a good time to stop. That doesn’t mean it’s any better of an idea to be essentially bound to someone during the full moon.”

“I know that, but it’s good to know. We’ll figure something out,” Tony said. His voice was soft, reassuring.

Steve wished he could turn off his ears, this was clearly not meant for him to hear. He closed his eyes tight, trying to ignore Bruce and Tony’s continued conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It may be important to note that when Tony's talking about blood status here, he's not being literal. In this verse, Tony is a pureblood, but Jarvis was a muggleborn and had a HUGE impact on his upbringing culture-wise. Furthermore, Rhodey is his best friend and Rhodey's parents are both muggleborn. I'mma gonna stop here before I go on for a few paragraphs about everyone's blood status because I have headcanons for all of them. But, as always if you have any questions (i.e. if you want to give me an excuse to ramble on about it) feel free to send me an ask on Tumblr! I'm at twirlingavengers.tumblr.com and for updates you can track the tag "Twirls Writes Fic"
> 
> But yeah, don't be confused by what he's talking about, he's a pureblood by birth. But, like all teens, he disparages the culture that accompanies it.
> 
> OH! Also, yeah, I thought it had popped up before hand but I guess not. Yes this IS one of those verses where Bruce is a werewolf. Eeeeeee.
> 
> AH! Also, sorry this is such a short one, but it's necessary to keep it separate just to set up some of the stuff that follows.


	8. Baby Steps or, oh Rhodey shows up for like two lines! Yay, I missed Rhodey!

“At least it’s a weekend,” Rhodey pointed out. The distance was about the length of the Great Hall, which meant that they could sit at separate tables. Despite this, most of the group was sitting at the Hufflepuff table. The exception was Tony, who had elected to talk to Rhodey at the Gryffindor table. Thor wasn’t at breakfast yet, possibly out trying to logic with his brother. Tony shrugged as he grabbed a piece of toast.

“That’s true,” he agreed. “At least the little bastard was kind enough to consider our class schedules before jinxing us.”

“Have you been able to prove it’s him?”

“No,” Tony admitted sullenly. “Fury was right, there’s no magical signature on it at all. I have no clue how he managed to do it, either. It’s like some different form of magic.”

“So you’re actually admitting that you don’t know something?” Rhodey asked with a smirk. Tony glared.

“I’m saying I don’t understand it yet.”

“Rhodes,” Steve walked over.

“Hey Rogers.”

“Stark, we’re going to talk to Fury now,” Steve said. He glanced at Rhodey. “Would you like to come?”

“Nah, that’s okay. I can see Tony throwing a fit pretty much any time. Good luck.”

“Who needs luck?” Tony drawled, standing.

“I was talking to Steve. He’s chained to you after all.”

“Rude,” Tony said with a smirk. He followed Steve out of the hall, where the rest of the group was gathered.

“Fury’s grabbing the charms mistress,” Coulson said. “He said to just wait here.”

“She’s not going to be able to do anything,” Tony grumbled. “Hill has no imagination, she’ll never be able to get to the bottom of something that doesn’t make any logical sense.”

“Stark, you can put it on the table and measure later alright? We know that, but it doesn’t hurt to have her look,” Barton said. He looked on edge, and maybe a bit bruised. Steve made an aborted motion with his hands, and then stood slightly hunched over as they waited.

“What happened to you?” Bruce asked, eying the uncharacteristically bitter-looking Clint with wary eyes.

“Barton didn’t want to wake up in time to go see Fury,” Coulson said calmly. Tony couldn’t suppress a snort.

“Yeah, you think it’s so funny until Steve starts throwing you around.”

“For some reason that doesn’t seem too different from your normal interactions,” Tony said with a grin. Clint gave a little shrug, as that wasn’t entirely false.

Tony was right of course; Hill had no clue. In the end, the group was only let out of her chambers for lunch. Bruce had only gotten more stressed as the hours had passed, and he was practically vibrating with tension as they walked back to the Great Hall. And then he stopped, freezing for a moment before turning around.

“Hold on a tic,” he said before walking off. Natasha didn’t really hesitate before following him, and Tony jogged to catch up. “Wait here,” Bruce said to Natasha, before darting around the corner. “Hey!”

“Oh shit,” Tony muttered. He looked around the corner, motioning for Natasha to hold on a minute (shockingly, she did). Bruce had Loki pressed up against the wall - an arm against his throat.

“Stark!” Loki exclaimed as he noticed him. “Stark, call off your attack dog; this is ridiculous.”

“Not until you undo the jinx,” Bruce said. “This isn’t funny anymore, Odinson.”

“Don’t call me that,” Loki snapped. “And my goodness, haven’t any of you figured out how to undo it yourselves?”

“I’m not really in a calm mood,” Bruce said quietly. “So undo it.”

“Bruce,” Tony said, tugging lightly on his robe. “he’s not going anywhere.” After a short moment, Bruce took a step back and Loki’s feet hit the floor again. Tony let out a relieved sigh. Loki crossed his arms.

“Thank-you. Honestly Stark, you should be thanking me. I’m only trying to help.”

“Help me?” Tony asked. He exchanged a confused look with Bruce. “Why?”

“I think the main question is how,” Bruce offered. “And why hit the rest of us with whatever it was.”

“Well, it would be rather conspicuous to only hit those two dunderheads, now wouldn’t it?”

“What are you on about?” Bruce asked, crossing his arms. He was still tense, as if physically holding himself back from tackling Loki.

“A kiss, morons.” Loki drawled. “It’s like the sum control of magical spells in your nasty little fairy tales. I decided to go with a classic.”

“What?” Tony said blankly.

“The jinx is broken with a kiss by the afflicted parties,” Loki said. He spoke slowly, enunciating each word with just enough judgment in his tone to be a step above his usual mocking. “You and that idiot meathead have been making eyes at one another for months now, it was bloody irritating so I sped it along.”

“That is the most ridiculous - “ Tony started to speak, already in mid-pace to show how long this particular rant was going to be. Bruce cut him off.

“Loki, relationships don’t work that way. Forcing them to kiss isn’t going to stop them from mooning at each other, it’s just going to make things even more awkward between them.” Loki seemed to be pondering on his words.

“Nether the less, there’s nothing I can do about it presently,” Loki drawled. “That’s the only way to undo it.”

“Why you little - “ Tony made a grab for him, but Loki somehow managed to bleed himself into the wall and was gone.

“How the hell did he do that?” Bruce wondered, staring at the wall. Tony let out a frustrated noise. They turned to return to the Great Hall when Clint, Natasha, Coulson, Steve, and Thor came around the corner.

“Friends!” Thor bellowed. Bruce winced; when Thor bellowed he made some serious noise.

“Thor remembered how to counteract the curse,” Steve said.

“Yeah, and he wouldn’t tell us until we were all here so,” Clint turned to Thor. “Come on big guy, what’s the word?”

“I wrote to my friends who have been the victim of Loki’s mischievous ways frequently in the past,” Thor said. “Fandrall made me swear to only spread the story as far as to aid my friends and recalled that when he was afflicted with this same curse the cure was to kiss the one he was bound to.”

“A kiss undoes the curse?” Natasha repeated. “That’s very… cliché.”

“Why?” Coulson asked with a sigh.

“Well, only one way to find out,” Clint said with a serious nod. He turned and grabbed Coulson, spinning his friend towards him then leaning down once he had caught him and kissing. Coulson’s arms flailed out for a moment, but then he kissed back. After a second, Clint propped him back up.

“Now what?” Bruce asked, he was looking at the ceiling.

“Now we test it,” Clint said. He started off down the hallway. Everyone watched with bated breath as he got farther and farther away, and then turned out of sight. A minute passed, and then another.

“Well,” Coulson said. He was straightening his robes and watching the floor. “I guess that’s all there is to it then.” 

“We’re cured!” Clint exclaimed, dropping down in front of them. Everyone except Natasha jumped.

“How the Hell do you keep doing that?” Tony snapped. Clint grabbed Coulson and Thor by their arms and started dragging them down the hallway.

“Let’s give them some privacy.”

“Like you know the definition of that word,” Coulson grumbled even as he followed.

After a moment, just the four were left. Bruce rubbed at the back of his neck, and glanced at Natasha.

“So,” he started. Natasha gave a surprisingly soft smile, and walked up close to him. She reached out and grabbed his collar, pulling him down into a kiss. Bruce got his bearings quicker than Coulson had, and didn’t wait very long before his hands landed on Natasha’s shoulders, and then down to her waist as the kiss deepened.

After a few seconds, Natasha pulled away from the kiss. Bruce stood frozen for a moment, before his hand slowly went up to touch his lips. A small smile tugged at his lips, and Natasha grabbed his hand, pulling him along after her.

“Catch you later boys,” she said, giving a little wave with her free hand.


	9. All things end

Steve glanced over at Tony, who was watching the other two walk off with a triumphant grin. After a moment, as Natasha and Bruce walked around the corner and out of sight, he noticed Steve watching.

“What?” he asked. He crossed his arms.

“Uh well,” Steve fumbled for words. Tony considered him with a raised eyebrow and turned to walk off. “Tony! We need to undo the curse!”

“Later,” Tony said. “I got things to do.”

“Tony,” growled Steve. He could feel the curse as Tony got farther and farther away. With a huff, Steve took a step back, and braced himself. As expected, Tony came careening back towards him. Steve caught him on impact, and spun around to dispel the momentum. He put Tony back on the ground.

Tony didn’t take a step back, though Steve was up in his space. His eyes flickered up to meet Steve’s, then to his lips, then back to his eyes. He didn’t answer.

“Would I really be that terrible to kiss, Stark?” Steve asked, voice quiet. Tony still didn’t reply, but took a step back. “Look, you’re right.” Steve said after a long pause. He sighed, and turned away.

“Right about what, Rogers? I’m right about a lot of things,” Tony’s voice sounded the same as it always did - casual, with a light smug overtone. Steve let out a huffing noise and spun back around, grabbing Tony’s arm and pushing him back against he wall. Tony tensed, as he normally did around physical contact.

“In the war against Grindewald, doctor Erskine was working on a potion, a potion that was the utmost secrecy. A potion to turn the tides of the war.” Steve let go of Tony’s arm and looked off to the side a moment before continuing. “He called it the super soldier serum.”

“I’ve heard of that!” Tony exclaimed. “It was this big myth surrounding your dad.”

“My father died when I was 6, Tony.” Steve said quietly.

“What?”

“The Andrew Rogers that everybody reads about is a lie, a fabrication created by Doctor Erksine and the General. They, ah… they were the only ones who really knew.”

“Why would you… ?“

“Because Doctor Erksine didn’t want anybody knowing that I was the one who got the Super Soldier Serum.” Steve risked a glance at Tony’s face, and for once the other boy looked completely surprised.

“How? Why you?”

“It was kind of an accident,” Steve said with a little sigh. “My friend Bucky, he - ah - he was allowed to join the auror corps even though he was barely past puberty. So I lied on my enlistment forms. I mean, I’m pretty sure the doctor knew. I barely passed for 14, furthermore 24. Anyway, he… well, there were tests and I ended up with the potion.”

“And that’s why you’re so amazing,” Tony said quietly, mostly to himself.

“Well… yeah,” Steve said hesitantly. “I guess so. I know you’ve been looking into it, and that’s the answer. That’s why I survived a freezing curse that long, and that’s why a lot of your jinxes don’t work on me. I’m kind of… magically resistant.” Tony ducked under his arm and started pacing the hallway.

“Why did Loki’s jinx work on you then?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Steve admitted. “But if you can’t make heads or tails of it - or professor Hill, for that matter - I’m assuming it’s something a little out of the ordinary.” Tony tilted his head in acknowledgment.

“I suppose.”

“You’ve always been perfectly honest with me,” Steve said. “I felt like I should be honest with you.” Tony watched him carefully, head tilted slightly as though Steve were an interesting puzzle. Steve fidgeted under the gaze.

“Right then,” Tony finally said with a nod. He walked back closer to Steve, who froze as he waited for what the other boy would do. Tony reached up, grabbed Steve’s tie, and pulled the taller boy down into a quick kiss. He released the tie, and Steve stumbled for purchase for a moment as Tony slipped around him. “I need to talk to someone.”

“Oh no you don’t,” growled Steve. He spun around and grabbed Tony again - lifting him up up and back against the wall for another kiss, deeper this time. Tony kissed back almost immediately,

“Super strength too, huh?” Tony asked. Steve could tell in his tone that he had passed some sort of test, and he leaned down to rest his head on Tony’s shoulder.

“Why is everything a test with you?” he asked.

“Because darling,” Tony replied. “I’m one hell of a reward. After a pause, Steve took a few steps back, and Tony straightened out his robes.

“Where are you off to?” Steve asked.

“I need to talk to Rhodey,” he said.

“Can it wait?” Steve asked. Tony’s eyes dropped back to his lips, but then pulled back to his eyes.

“I suppose so,” he said with another nod. Then he reached up and pulled Steve down again into another searing kiss.

 

If Tony had thought that sort-of kind-of dating a hero of the wizarding world would really shake up his life, he would have been wrong. Luckily, as he is Tony Stark and never wrong, he didn’t really predict anything happening.

Things continued as they normally did. He and Bruce experimented with different charms and potions, Rhodey lurked protectively - half the time not seeming entirely sure who he was supposed to be watching, Natasha continued to be utterly confusing, and Loki evaded any questions Tony might have.

He could ask Thor, of course, but Tony honestly believed that Thor was less likely to tell any secrets than Loki. Thor may not be a Ravenclaw or Slytherin, but he was quite intelligent. And he guarded any secrets he had tightly.

The mystery of Loki’s curse remained unsolved in the following weeks.

As did the mystery of why Bruce and Natasha were not dating.

It had actually taken Tony a bit to realize this, which was embarrassing, but he honestly thought that it would just be obvious by now. Bruce had liked Natasha for a while now; she apparently liked him also; they kissed, why weren’t they going out?

Bruce glared.

“I’m not interested in dating right now,” he said quietly. He turned away to grab the billywig stings and missed Tony’s slight flail.

“Girl of your dreams!” Tony insisted. Bruce sighed.

“Exactly,” the word was so quiet that Tony wasn’t entirely sure he had heard it at all.

“Is it because of that girl back home, Betty? Because I thought you said that you didn’t actually have anything going on with her, as much as you used to talk about her.”

“I’m not interested in dating right now!” Bruce snapped. He turned, slamming his hands onto the table. “How many times do I have to repeat that, Tony? Did you miss the fact that I turn into a werewolf every month, huh?”

“So what?” Tony snapped back. “Werewolves can’t date? That’s crap, you know that’s crap.” Werewolves can date, marry, have kids, run for office - and all legally, even here!”

“Just let it go, Tony.” There was a small pause, and Tony shifted a little, hand going up to his hair and then falling back down to his side. Bruce new all of his friend’s nervous ticks, there was no need to hide it.

“How old were you when you got bit?” Tony’s voice was quiet. “I mean, you don’t have to answer, I know you don’t like talking about it.” Bruce sighed.

“I was nine,” he said. Tony cringed. “It wasn’t… it wasn’t a random attack.”

“Like, he hunted you down, or?” Tony stopped talking at Bruce’s look.

“This… okay. Do you remember learning about Dr. Erksine?” Bruce asked. Tony paled slightly, but nodded. “My father has spent most of his life trying to replicate the super soldier serum potion.” Bruce started messing with his hands, and looked at the floor. “My father is a terrible person. When ah - when I was younger he used to test the potions on me.”

“What?” Tony exclaimed. “That’s illegal! That fucking bastard! Why didn’t you ever say anything? We need to take him down Bruce!” At Bruce’s look, he dialed it back a bit. “Sorry, carry on.” Tony rarely said sorry, Bruce took it as the deeper apology it was.

“As you can imagine, the results were rarely what he wanted. When I was eight, one hit very badly. It… it _mutated_ me. If I lost control of my emotions, got too angry, I would lose control. I’d become this creature… I don’t even know what I looked like, I’d black out. I’d wake up and there’d be destruction everywhere. I couldn’t control it, neither could my Dad. He actually tried to make an antidote for it, many times, but none of them worked.”

“So the bite…” Tony’s voice was quiet as he studied his friend.

“It cancelled out a lot of it,” Bruce agreed. “But not all of it, I tend to… when I’m angry, it’s hard to focus. It’s hard to maintain control of myself. Especially when I’ve transformed, even with the wolfsbane.” Tony didn’t say anything. “So, it’s not because I’m a werewolf, Tony. It’s because I’m me.”

“Bruce,” Tony started. It was in his ‘reasonable’ tone, which was never a good sign.

“Pass me the essence of murlap,” Bruce said. Tony let out a small sigh, but handed over the bottle. “Thanks. I was thinking of cutting the amount in half, it might allow the billywig stings to be more effective…”

Tony would let it go for now.

After all, he had all summer to get to the bottom of things.

**Author's Note:**

> This started as a short drabble to ramble on about Avengers sorting, and evolved into his behemoth. Will be at least 10 chapters, probably more depending on how I divide it up. I’ll post it to AO3 soon and post a link, but PLEASE tell me what you think. And any questions, let me know. I have a ton of headcanons about my little universe here. This is long, so stick with me and again, let me know if you have any questions.  
> I really like rambling about my universe, so yes.  
> And thank-you for reading!
> 
>  
> 
> Okay, so. This is the end of this story, but it's not the end of their story. I have every intention of doing a follow-up of their 7th year and touching on some of Bruce's issues(though it'll still be pretty Tony-centric) however, it will probably be awhile. You can track my tag on tumblr(Twirls Writes), subscribe to me here, or just keep checking back because yeah, it'll be awhile.(but so worth it.)  
> Again - any questions please ask  
> and have a lovely day!


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